Bell Bridge Books

BEING UGLY

by Nicki Salcedo

We aren’t allowed to say the word ugly anymore unless we’re talking about someone’s personality. Ugly is a way of acting, but you can’t call a face or body ugly anymore. In our politically correct world, we have “beauty” and “not quite” as beautiful. No one is allowed to be ugly. Ugly is dead.

I’ve been ugly my whole life. Do not fill up the comment box with false compliments. I don’t need them. I’m better than beautiful. More often than not, I am happy. When things get better, I am confident.  With age I have learned that I am not ugly. I have 10 things I do every day to feel beautiful.

10. Beauty is humor. I laugh as much as I can. Even at sad things. Even rainy and cold days.

9. I find something very small that is beautiful. Usually it is a leaf. It could be an acorn or a blade of grass. Have you ever looked at a single piece of sand? It is a crystal.

8. I become the beholder. Remember that Twilight Zone episode where they people had pig faces? I try to remember that when the hideously disgusting aliens land on Earth, they are going to think that we are ugly. A little mascara isn’t going to change that.

7. I hardly ever wear makeup. You know how the media likes to post pictures of celebrities without makeup? That makes me mad. Why don’t they leave those women alone? Don’t click on those stories. 99% of the time we see movie stars as perfect, but the paparazzi wait for the 1% of the time they aren’t. Not cool.

6. I do wear makeup once in a while, and you all act like I’m a movie star! You say that I’m pretty. The heroine in my novel ALL BEAUTIFUL THINGS has been brutally attacked and wanders the streets at night. She is scarred. She feels ugly. What’s one of her biggest fears? Mascara. I rarely wear mascara, but when I do I’m a rock star.

5. I confront stereotypes. I confront racism. Daily. Do you read books with characters from different backgrounds? A part of racism is alienating yourself from other races. The next time you walk into a waiting room, notice who you choose to sit next to and who you avoid. I’ve had security follow me around a store. I’ve watched women at the doctor’s office specifically not take the seat next to me. I get it. I am ugly to others, but here’s how I feel beautiful. I don’t just ignore it. I’m the queen of the friendly “hello!” when someone tries to make me feel invisible.

4. I love my ugly. I see myself as I am. I do have scars. I have a few extra pounds around my middle.  Warts, scars, stretch marks, and all. I accept my body without excuses. When I’m 80 years old, I’m going to wish I had this body and this face.

3. I look for beautiful things in other people. And I tell them. I see beautiful hands, legs, and smiles. That person may not think that they are beautiful. They might appreciate hearing it.

2. I let beauty grow.  When I’m not wearing makeup, I can rub my face against my kid’s face. That is beautiful. I hope I feel more beautiful tomorrow than I do today. I hope when I’m 80 years old I’ll think I look great in a swimsuit. Hope is another one of those beautiful things.

1. Instead of looking for beauty, I listen for it. I know lots of people, but I couldn’t tell you what they all look like. I couldn’t give you a police sketch of their faces. They might be gorgeous or plain by society standards. I don’t know. I’ve allowed myself to be blind. I know about them through their words and stories. We close our eyes, and our senses blossom. That kind of beauty lasts forever.

Nicki Salcedo is a graduate of Stanford University with a degree in English and Creative Writing. She was born in Jamaica and raised in Atlanta, Georgia. She is a member of Romance Writers of America© and a Past President of Georgia Romance Writers. Nicki is a two-time recipient of the Maggie Award of Excellence and a Golden Heart© Finalist. Her debut novel, ALL BEAUTIFUL THINGS, is a reversal on the beauty and the beast story with a touch of Southern Gothic and romantic suspense. ALL BEAUTIFUL THINGS is available now. You can find Nicki on Twitter @NickiSalcedo, Facebook, and at http://www.nickisalcedo.com.

 Make sure you grab ALL BEAUTIFUL THINGS from Amazon!

Just click the link!

“I don’t listen to music when I write. I like silence. My mind fills with whispered words from other writers. Sometimes the words are from books, sometimes music, sometimes poetry. I remembered my favorite poems as I wrote ALL BEAUTIFUL THINGS. This is my poetry soundtrack.”

–Nicki Salcedo

1. “We wear the mask that grins and lies. It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.” Paul Laurence Dunbar, Poem: “We Wear the Mask”
2. “And then last night I tiptoed up to my daughter’s room and heard her talking to someone, and when I opened the door, there was no one there…Only she on her knees, peeking into her own clasped hands” Amiri Baraka, Poem: “Preface to a Twenty Volume Suicide Note”
3. “We hailed, “Good morrow, mother!” to a shawl-covered head, and bought a morning paper, which neither of us read; And she wept, “God bless you!” for the apples and pears, and we gave her all our money but our subway fares.” Edna St. Vincent Millay, Poem: “Recuerdo”
4. “How you must have wondered to see me taking chances, dancing on the edge of words, pointing out the bad guys, dreaming your x-ray vision could see the beauty in me.” Lucille Clifton, Poem: “note passed to superman”
5. “Her terrified hands will lie still ringed with ordeals she was mastered by. The tigers in the panel that she made will go on prancing, proud and unafraid.” Adrienne Rich, Poem “Aunt Jennifer’s Tigers”
6. “And now the moon, earth’s friend, that cared so much for us, and cared so little, comes again—always a stranger!” Robert Lowell, Poem: “Public Garden”
7. “In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed. He moves in darkness as it seems to me. Not of woods only and the shade of trees.” Robert Frost, Poem: “Mending Wall”
8. “Don’t look now. I’m fading away into the gray of my mornings or the blues of every night.” Nikki Giovanni, Poem: “Cotton Candy on a Rainy Day”
9. “I lay waiting on the gravel bottom, my brain darkening, a jar of spawn fermenting underground dreams of Baltic amber.” Seamus Heaney, Poem: “Bog Queen”
10.  “In the mirror, the angles of the room are calm, it is the hour when you can see that the angle itself is blessed, and the dark globes of the chandelier, suspended in the mirror, are motionless” Sharon Olds, Poem: “After Making Love in the Winter”
11. “I have slept with you all night long while the dark earth spins with the living and the dead, and on waking suddenly in the midst of the shadow my arm encircled your waist. Neither night nor sleep could separate us.” Pablo Neruda, Poem: “Night on the Island”
12. “Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well.” Sylvia Plath, Poem: “Lady Lazarus”
13. “They love each other. There is no loneliness like theirs.” James Wright, Poem: “A Blessing” 

Don’t forget to go grab ALL BEAUTIFUL THINGS from Amazon TODAY! 

Just click the link!