My Update
by Kathleen McKenna

Hello all invisible friends. I haven’t written for a while. Well in all honesty, I haven’t done much for a while there have been a couple events which put me in this state. First of all there was a sale at Sam’s Club, buy 50 boxes of Captain Crunch get 50 for free. This really occupied me for the last few weeks, as did my subsequent massive coronary, something that sadly I was unaware of because in an effort to get healthy I gave into the pressures of television advertising and ordered some Special K online to counteract the effects of the Captain Crunch.

Unfortunately what I’d actually ordered was Ketamine. This created a sorry state and when I came to I was on a beach in Mexico and married to some English guy. It’s okay he is drunk most of the time so doesn’t bother me too much and has not tried to violate my personal space, which has grown considerably since the whole Captain Crunch debacle which started this vicious cycle in the first place.

Other than that not much to tell I got a tattoo, it’s of my own name and I had it put on my forearm (ala Mike Tyson) so that I could remember my name in a pinch (apparently there are some long term effects of Ketamine). At any rate let’s see what else, oh yeah I have joined the witness protection program to avoid my editor on The Comeback, it’s the sequel to The Wedding Gift and I know that she is going to ask me for all sorts of unreasonable things like to learn how to spell. The very thought of this has upset me to such a degree that I’ve taken to my bed, well okay, okay I never really left my bed but now I’m so worked up that I can’t see ever getting up again. In that spirit I would love to hear from anyone who has had any similar experiences or also who is just psychotically lazy and would like some support of this position!